Would you rather your friends, family, and partners envy you, or admire you, when you flourish? Many people would prefer to be admired, and so we often strive to tame our envy. Recently, however, Sara Protasi offered an intriguing defence of “emulative envy” which apparently improves us and our relationships, and is compatible with love. I find her account unconvincing, and defend loving admiration in this article. In Section 2, I summarize Protasi's nuanced account of envy. In Section 2, I argue that irrespective of how we analyze emotions in general we can argue that it is preferable to prioritize the cultivation of some emotions over others. In Section 4, I challenge Protasi's assumptions about the affinity between love and envy. My core argument is in Section 5 where I examine envy's impact on the envier, the envied, and relationships. Envy impedes an authentic relationship to the goods and goals in the envier's life, alienates the envied, and stifles joint-action. From all perspectives admiration typically fares better. After briefly considering the objection that admiration may impede love in Section 6, I conclude, in section seven, that admiration should be preferred to emulative envy in our intimate relationships.

中文翻译：

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竞争性的嫉妒和爱慕的钦佩

当你蓬勃发展时，你希望你的朋友、家人和伴侣羡慕你还是钦佩你？许多人都希望被人钦佩，因此我们常常努力抑制嫉妒心。然而，最近，萨拉·普罗塔西（Sara Protasi）对“竞争性嫉妒”提出了有趣的辩护，这显然改善了我们和我们的关系，并且与爱兼容。我发现她的说法没有说服力，并在这篇文章中捍卫了爱的钦佩。在第二节中，我总结了普罗塔西对嫉妒的细致入微的描述。在第二节中，我认为，无论我们如何分析一般情绪，我们都可以认为优先培养某些情绪比其他情绪更可取。在第四节中，我挑战了普罗塔西关于爱与嫉妒之间密切关系的假设。我的核心论点在第五节，我研究了嫉妒对嫉妒者、被嫉妒者和人际关系的影响。嫉妒会阻碍与嫉妒者生活中的美好事物和目标建立真正的关系，疏远被嫉妒者，并抑制联合行动。从各个角度来看，钦佩通常效果更好。在简要考虑了第六节中关于钦佩可能会阻碍爱情的反对意见之后，我在第七节中得出结论，在我们的亲密关系中，钦佩应该优先于竞争性嫉妒。