Few topics generate as much controversy and confusion in society, therapeutic practice, and science as violence in families, often referred to as domestic violence. There is a neverending dispute around the definition and about the statistics. Is relational violence mainly against women or are women as violent as men in intimate relationships? Outcomes from research are contradictory. When we zoom out, we can be aware that violence is everywhere and that we are part of it. At the same time, we can sense that the world is full of love. Both are part of the destructive dynamics of escalating conflicts in families that are more related to powerlessness than to power. In a therapeutic context we focus on the destructive dynamics in which the languages of perpetrator and victim are not helpful. We suggest the formulation of keystones as light posts to help us find a way to help family members to de-escalate conflict.

中文翻译：

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家庭关系暴力的背景和核心 1*

很少有话题像家庭暴力（通常称为家庭暴力）那样在社会、治疗实践和科学中引起如此多的争议和混乱。关于定义和统计数据的争论永无止境。关系暴力主要是针对女性还是女性在亲密关系中与男性一样暴力？研究结果是矛盾的。当我们缩小时，我们可以意识到暴力无处不在，而我们也是其中的一部分。同时，我们也能感受到这个世界充满了爱。两者都是家庭冲突升级的破坏性动力的一部分，这些冲突更多地与无能为力有关，而不是与权力有关。在治疗背景下，我们关注破坏性动态，在这种情况下，肇事者和受害者的语言无济于事。