ABSTRACT

According to dating folklore, playing “hard-to-get” is an effective strategy for attracting prospective mates. However, some research suggests that this strategy could backfire if it leads prospective mates to withhold their attraction in return. The present research aimed to review the scope of research on the link between playing hard-to-get – i.e., appearing uncertain in one’s interest and/or difficult to attract – and romantic or sexual outcomes. A scoping search was conducted in the electronic databases of PsycINFO, Sociology Source Ultimate, Anthropology Plus, and Academic Search Ultimate using key words related to playing hard-to-get in the context of dating. A total of 18 studies were included in the review. Research suggests that playing hard-to-get may work if optimal levels of perceived uncertainty and difficulty are achieved. Additional variables were identified as being important when evaluating the tactic’s efficacy. These include the pursuer’s own level commitment to the pursued partner and aversion to uncertainty, and both the pursuer and pursued partners’ gender and attachment styles. Directions for future research and the relevance of sociocultural norms in dating are discussed. Keywords: playing hard-to-get, dating, romantic relationships, mating strategy, attraction

摘要

根据约会民间传说，玩“难求”是吸引未来伴侣的有效策略。然而，一些研究表明，如果这种策略导致未来的伴侣拒绝吸引他们作为回报，这种策略可能会适得其反。本研究旨在回顾关于难以获得的游戏之间联系的研究范围——即表现出对一个人的兴趣不确定和/或难以获得吸引——浪漫或性结果。在 PsycINFO、Sociology Source Ultimate、Anthropology Plus 和 Academic Search Ultimate 的电子数据库中进行了范围搜索，使用的是与在约会的背景下玩难搞相关的关键词。本综述共纳入 18 项研究。研究表明，如果感知到的不确定性和难度达到最佳水平，那么玩“很难得到”可能会奏效。在评估策略的功效时，其他变量被确定为重要的。这些包括追求者自身对被追求伙伴的承诺水平和对不确定性的厌恶，以及追求者和被追求伙伴的性别和依恋风格。讨论了未来研究的方向和社会文化规范在约会中的相关性。关键词: 捉弄人, 约会, 恋爱关系, 交配策略, 吸引力