A person’s well-being depends heavily on forming and maintaining positive relationships, but people can be reluctant to connect in ways that would create or strengthen relationships. Emerging research suggests that miscalibrated social cognition may create psychological barriers to connecting with others more often. Specifically, people may underestimate how positively others will respond to their own sociality across a variety of social actions, including engaging in conversation, expressing appreciation, and performing acts of kindness. We suggest that these miscalibrated expectations are created and maintained by at least three mechanisms: differential construal, uncertain responsiveness, and asymmetric learning. Underestimating the positive consequences of social engagement could make people less social than would be optimal for both their own and others’ well-being.

一个人的幸福在很大程度上取决于建立和维持积极的关系，但人们可能不愿意以会建立或加强关系的方式建立联系。新兴研究表明，错误校准的社会认知可能会造成更频繁地与他人联系的心理障碍。具体来说，人们可能会低估其他人在各种社会行为中对他们自己的社会性的积极反应，包括参与对话、表达感激和表现出善意的行为。我们建议这些错误校准的期望至少是由三种机制产生和维持的：差异解释、不确定的响应和不对称学习。