Abstract

Most people desire to have a romantic relationship, and most people desire to have a child. The paper suggests one respect in which it is more desirable to have a child with a romantic partner rather than with someone other than a romantic partner, as platonic parents do. The first premise claims that the romantic relationship, and only this relationship, has a certain desire as a constitutive part. This is the desire to be as related to someone as one can be. That this ‘desire for relatedness’ is a constitutive part of the romantic relationship explains why those related by a romantic relationship tend to become related in other ways and explains why romantic partners tend to desire to have relationships with those to whom their romantic partner is otherwise related. The second premise is that by having a child together romantic partners become related in an important and unique way, satisfying their desire for relatedness. Since platonic parents do not have the desire for relatedness toward one another they do not satisfy such a desire in having a child together. A brief review of the sociological literature on platonic parenting is included and eight objections are answered.

摘要

大多数人都希望有一段浪漫的关系，而大多数人都希望有一个孩子。这篇论文提出了一种观点，即像柏拉图式的父母那样，与浪漫伴侣而不是与浪漫伴侣以外的人一起生孩子更可取。第一个前提声称浪漫关系，并且只有这种关系，作为构成部分具有一定的欲望。这是一种希望尽可能与某人建立联系的愿望。这种“对亲缘关系的渴望”是浪漫关系的组成部分，这解释了为什么与浪漫关系有关的人倾向于以其他方式建立关系，并解释了为什么浪漫伴侣倾向于希望与他们的恋人以其他方式建立关系的人有关的。第二个前提是，通过让孩子在一起，浪漫的伴侣以一种重要而独特的方式建立关系，满足他们对关系的渴望。由于柏拉图式的父母没有彼此亲近的愿望，因此他们无法满足共同生孩子的愿望。包括对柏拉图式育儿社会学文献的简要回顾，并回答了八项反对意见。