I have anxiety and I am not alone, although I have felt that way. Anxiety and depression are mental health issues that impact millions of individuals in our society. While discussions about mental health are improving, insofar as conversations are more frequent particularly during the 2020 to 2021 Coronavirus pandemic, more voices are needed to tell their stories of mental health and actions need to be taken to address systemic issues in a multitude of contexts. My context is that of a tenure-track middle-class white privileged male who began an intense battle with anxiety while undertaking a guest professorship in a foreign country. The autoethnographic narrative presented here is a composition of vignettes from my struggle with anxiety in the 4th and 5th tenure track years. Throughout, I attempt to openly present my struggles and conclude by proposing ways in higher education can aid faculty, staff, and students in creating a better structure.

我有焦虑症，我并不孤单，尽管我有过这种感觉。焦虑和抑郁是影响我们社会数百万人的心理健康问题。虽然关于心理健康的讨论正在改善，但由于对话更加频繁，特别是在 2020 年至 2021 年冠状病毒大流行期间，需要更多声音来讲述他们的心理健康故事，并且需要采取行动解决多种情况下的系统性问题。我的背景是一个终身职位的中产阶级白人特权男性，他在外国担任客座教授时开始了与焦虑的激烈斗争。这里呈现的自我民族志叙事是我在第 4 和第 5 任任期内与焦虑作斗争的小插曲。始终，