S omehow summer is the least peaceful time of year. The summer of 2018 was no exception. I had just finished writing my dissertation two weeks before boarding a flight to Libya to visit family. Leading up to my trip, a sense of uncertainty about the future began to loom over my head. After I completed my degree, would my family pressureme to return to Libya? If so,what were the best options formywellbeing?Most important, howwould I cope or fit in? The last time I had lived in Libya for more than a few weeks was in 2007, when my parents decided that we would settle down in Zawiyah after spendingmore than ten years in the United Kingdom. Four years later, after the uprisings of 2011, we returned to London. I have been in the British capital since then, save the annual visit to Libya. When I remember the time I spent in Zawiyah, I recall that I always felt a distance from others around me that competed with the geographic separation between Libya and the United Kingdom. Although I understood most of what happened around me, before 2011 my time there was riddled with confusion and doubt. I was constantly trying to create a bubble aroundmyself to feel safe. Being seen as “weird” or “odd” because I had grown up elsewhere was much easier when everything else was good. I did not long for detailed conversations with relatives over chai about whether theUnitedKingdomwasbetter thanLibya orwhether I knewhow todance. Books, memoirs, and even reruns of films on MBC2 proved great companions. From what I saw, Libyan women had the same relationship of escapism with makeup and fashion as Libyanmen had with tobacco and bottomless coffee. Coffee was everywhere in Libya. My brother was always awed by the amount of coffee Libyans drank in a day despite the sweltering weather. He found it funny that they

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巴纳特集体的身份、流离失所和成年

不知何故，夏天是一年中最不平静的时候。2018年夏天也不例外。两周前，我刚刚写完论文，然后登上飞往利比亚探望家人的航班。在我旅行之前，一种对未来的不确定感开始笼罩在我的脑海中。我完成学位后，我的家人会强迫我返回利比亚吗？如果是这样，我的健康的最佳选择是什么？最重要的是，我将如何应对或适应？我上一次在利比亚生活超过几周是在 2007 年，当时我的父母决定在英国生活了十多年后，我们将在扎维耶定居。四年后，在 2011 年的起义之后，我们回到了伦敦。从那时起，我一直在英国首都，除了每年对利比亚的访问。当我想起我在扎维耶度过的时光时，我记得我总是觉得与周围的人有距离，这与利比亚和英国之间的地理隔离相竞争。虽然我了解周围发生的大部分事情，但在 2011 年之前，我的时间充满了困惑和怀疑。我一直试图在自己周围制造一个泡泡来感到安全。当其他一切都很好时，因为我在别处长大而被视为“怪异”或“古怪”要容易得多。我并不渴望在柴上与亲戚详细交谈，讨论英国是否比利比亚更好，或者我是否知道如何跳舞。MBC2 上的书籍、回忆录甚至电影重播都证明是很好的伴侣。在我看来，利比亚女性对化妆品和时尚的逃避主义与利比亚男性对烟草和无底咖啡的逃避有着同样的关系。利比亚到处都是咖啡。尽管天气闷热，我的兄弟总是对利比亚人一天喝的咖啡量感到敬畏。他觉得有趣的是他们