This paper examines the question of why the pattern of narcissistic object-relating (collusion) develops early in life and how it may impact the lifelong process of individuation. Narcissistic adult couple relationships are one of the arenas in which unresolved aspects of the past, alive in the present, are unconsciously brought and endlessly repeated with intensity. Adult relationships are often formed in the hope that both partners will wipe out their old wounds. However, despite apparent differences in overt social functioning, people unconsciously tend to select partners who are at the same basic level of personality differentiation, but who have opposite patterns of defensive organization. Primitive defences and projections, which are played out by the narcissistic couple, become a substitute for true identity. They can rigidify or disrupt the ego-Self axis rendering it inflexible. These dynamics inhibit the ability of the ego to gain access to the unconscious, and the Self to get access to the ego, disrupting the possibility of emergence of a dialogical relationship. This process creates obstacles to growth and individuation, which leads this author to suggest the notion of 'impeded individuation' in narcissism.

中文翻译：

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寻找双人自我：自恋勾结与阻碍个体化

本文探讨了为什么自恋对象相关（共谋）的模式在生命早期发展以及它如何影响个体化的终身过程的问题。自恋的成人夫妻关系是其中一个领域，其中过去未解决的方面，活在当下，被无意识地带来并无休止地重复。成人关系的形成往往是希望双方都能抹去旧伤。然而，尽管明显的社会功能存在明显差异，但人们会无意识地选择具有相同基本人格分化水平但防御组织模式相反的伴侣。这对自恋的夫妇所表现出来的原始防御和投射，成为了真实身份的替代品。它们可以僵化或破坏自我轴，使其变得不灵活。这些动态抑制了自我接近无意识的能力，以及自我接近自我的能力，破坏了对话关系出现的可能性。这个过程为成长和个性化创造了障碍，这导致作者提出了自恋中“阻碍个性化”的概念。