Abstract

Betrayal trauma threatens pair-bond attachment relationships. Across a trajectory of repair and healing, offenders and aggrieved partners manifest distinct trajectories, with asynchronous progression and timelines. Without careful intervention, their colliding trajectories may preclude repair and healing, producing instead corrosive interaction and relationship disintegration. We focus on attachment-organized responses designed to safeguard the relationship as partners alternate “leaning in” and “leaning out” of the relationship. We specifically profile the situation of initial offending partner ambivalence. Our attachment-informed model of couple repair and healing following betrayal trauma describes four phases, key developmental tasks, and attachment dynamics related to couples’ asynchronous healing trajectories. Although betrayal trauma can lead to relationship dissolution, couples can heal (a) as both partners work together to navigate one partner’s “leaning out” with the other partner’s “leaning in” responses, (b) as offenders choose to be accountable, witness their partner’s pain, and make amends, (c) as aggrieved partners intentionally process the offense through benevolent indignation, and (d) as both address relationship deficits and needs. A clinical vignette depicts the couple experience, and we then discuss the associated relationship dynamics and suggest clinical responses related to each phase.

摘要

背叛创伤威胁到夫妻依恋关系。在修复和康复的轨迹中，犯罪者和受害的伴侣表现出不同的轨迹，具有异步的进展和时间线。如果没有仔细的干预，它们的碰撞轨迹可能会妨碍修复和愈合，反而会产生腐蚀性的相互作用和关系的解体。我们专注于依恋组织的反应，旨在保护关系，因为合作伙伴交替“靠近”和“远离”关系。我们特别描述了最初冒犯性伴侣矛盾心理的情况。我们在背叛创伤后的夫妻修复和愈合的依恋知情模型描述了与夫妻异步愈合轨迹相关的四个阶段、关键发展任务和依恋动态。承担责任，目睹伴侣的痛苦并做出补偿，（c）作为受害的伴侣故意通过仁慈的愤慨来处理罪行，以及（d）双方都解决了关系缺陷和需求。临床小插曲描述了这对夫妇的经历，然后我们讨论了相关的关系动态并提出了与每个阶段相关的临床反应。