ABSTRACT

As a doctor working in an Intensive Care Unit where Covid-19 hit hard in 2020 to early 2021, I have felt bemused that we doctors are living through a sustained period of helplessness, yet are able to live a ‘normal life’. I reflect here on the guilt I feel when I forget the names of patients I closely manage in short bursts of time, who then pass away. The volume of these relationships are unprecedented and absurd; a feeling that your grasp for each patient needs to be firm enough to help them survive yet loose enough to let go. It is as though we are in a battlefield that allows us to go home and find respite before returning. For this reason, we do not realise we are living through a time of trauma.

摘要

作为一名在重症监护病房工作的医生，Covid-19在2020年至2021年初遭受重创，我感到困惑的是，我们的医生正处于持续的无助状态，但却能够过上“正常的生活”。当我忘了我在短时间内密切管理的患者的名字，然后去世的时候，我会感到内。这些关系的数量是空前的和荒谬的。一种感觉，您对每个患者的掌握都必须足够坚定，以帮助他们生存，同时又要足够松散，才能放手。好像我们在战场上一样，我们可以回家并找到喘息的机会再返回。因此，我们没有意识到自己正经历着创伤。