ABSTRACT This paper presents a phenomenology of love, indicating some complexities in working with the lover in psychotherapy and counselling, while taking into account Lacanian ideas about love. Experience and Lacan’s ideas seem to intersect, the latter perhaps announcing a harsh ‘truth’ from which experience flinches. Reference to a small dog illustrates to an extent the real but illusory cause of desire we find in Lacan’s object a. The paper begins with exploring how language can speak of the private, the phenomenological world, and therefore also says something that addresses everyone to an extent. Theory may emerge in this addressing and it can be noticed where perhaps Lacan is coming from. The lover and the broken-hearted person in therapy presents a challenge, to stay with experience or take refuge in theory, or perhaps stay with both, avoiding a collapse into technicalities. It seems that healing may begin to come through relinquishing a precious image/idea/story, of oneself, if at all possible.

中文翻译：

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爱的现象学，感谢拉康、米勒和软糖

摘要 本文提出了一种爱的现象学，指出在心理治疗和咨询中与爱人一起工作的一些复杂性，同时考虑到拉康关于爱的思想。经验和拉康的思想似乎相交，后者或许宣告了一个严酷的“真理”，而经验则对此畏缩不前。对小狗的提及在一定程度上说明了我们在拉康的对象 a 中发现的真实但虚幻的欲望原因。这篇论文首先探讨了语言如何谈论私人的现象学世界，因此也在一定程度上表达了对每个人的看法。理论可能会在这个演讲中出现，并且可以注意到拉康可能来自哪里。治疗中的爱人和心碎的人提出了一个挑战，留在经验中或在理论上避难，或者可能两者都留下，避免陷入技术问题。如果可能的话，似乎可以通过放弃自己的宝贵形象/想法/故事来治愈。