While there is wide consciousness of the experience of women being subjected to interpersonal violence, there has been relatively little exploration of this experience for men. The study detailed here explored men’s experience of intimate partner violence within the context of a heterosexual relationship. A qualitative approach was used, drawing on psychoanalytic principles relating to free association and the permission of space for material to emerge, meeting for three individual interviews, over a timeframe of 5 to 11 weeks. Two main themes emerged from the analysis, which appeared to bring together the central concerns of participants: 1. An Unthinkable and Unbearable Position; and 2. Covert Destructiveness. The accounts of participants locate this as a visceral experience, comparable to a break-in or injury to the body, relating to the forced nature of violence and unwelcome affective states such as hatred, disgust, and aggression. The core themes are discussed in relation to the unbearable and unthinkable qualities of this experience and the difficulties this leads to for the individual, wider society, and clinicians. There is recognition here that the dynamics explored may be similar to those appearing within other relationship constellations – heterosexual and homosexual, as well as for women and men.

尽管人们广泛认识到妇女遭受人际暴力的经历，但对男子的这种经历的探索相对较少。此处详细介绍的研究探讨了男性在异性恋关系背景下亲密伴侣暴力的经历。使用了一种定性方法，借鉴了与自由结社和材料腾出空间的许可有关的精神分析原则，在5至11周的时间内进行了3次个人访谈。分析得出了两个主要主题，这些主题似乎将参与者的主要关切集中到了一起：1.难以想象和无法忍受的立场；2.秘密破坏力。参与者的陈述将其视为内在经历，相当于对身体的闯入或伤害，与暴力和不受欢迎的情感状态（如仇恨，厌恶和侵略）的强迫性质有关。讨论了有关这些经验难以忍受和难以想象的品质以及由此给个人，更广泛的社会和临床医生带来的困难的核心主题。在这里人们认识到，探索的动力可能与其他关系星座中出现的动力相似-异性恋和同性恋，以及男女。