ABSTRACT In Nordic countries, intimate relationships are routinely compared against ideals of gender equality, even though equality is not always achieved in everyday life. In this article, we analyse interviews with women that lived in unconventional relationships: mid- to later-life women in relationships with younger men, and bisexual women who have had relationships with people of different genders. The women’s expectations of equality and reciprocity in heterosexual relationships collided with the lived reality of inequalities, causing affective dissonance. We identify three strategies that women use to deal with this affective dissonance. In the first strategy, unequal relationship patterns are rejected and displaced onto other people’s relationships. In the second strategy, interviewees legitimize the unequal situations in their own relationship by utilizing culturally available interpretative frameworks that circulate notions about gender and couple relationships. Both strategies provide a means for dealing with the unpleasant affective dissonance, but they make it difficult to demand change in the relationship. In the third strategy, the annoyance and hurt caused by inequality are not explained away. Confronting affective dissonance has politicizing potential: it allows women to actively challenge the inequalities in their relationships.

中文翻译：

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通过情感失调在异性恋关系中挑战不平等的性别习俗

摘要在北欧国家，经常将亲密关系与两性平等理想进行比较，即使在日常生活中并非总是能实现平等。在本文中，我们分析了与生活在非常规关系中的妇女的访谈：中年以后与较年轻男人有关系的妇女，以及与不同性别的人有过关系的双性恋妇女。妇女在异性恋关系中对平等和互惠的期望与不平等的真实现实相冲突，造成情感上的不和谐。我们确定了女性用来解决这种情感失调的三种策略。在第一种策略中，不平等的关系模式被拒绝并转移到其他人的关系上。在第二种策略中 受访者通过利用文化上可用的解释框架来散布有关性别和夫妻关系的概念，从而使自己关系中的不平等状况合法化。两种策略都提供了解决不愉快的情感失调的方法，但是它们使要求改变关系变得困难。在第三个策略中，不解释由不平等引起的烦恼和伤害。面对情感失调有政治化的潜力：它使妇女能够积极挑战其关系中的不平等。在第三个策略中，不解释由不平等引起的烦恼和伤害。面对情感失调有政治化的潜力：它使妇女能够积极挑战其关系中的不平等。在第三个策略中，不解释由不平等引起的烦恼和伤害。面对情感失调有政治化的潜力：它使妇女能够积极挑战其关系中的不平等。