ABSTRACT This auto-ethnographic essay explores the author’s ambivalent identifications as an academic researcher trying to write about swimming. Beginning with her tide-bound rituals of sea swimming near her home in Merseyside, the author reflects upon her shifting perceptions of her own physical and psychic interiority in the wake of her cancer diagnosis in June 2019. By drawing together forms of mobility associated with swimming, collecting and hoarding, the author seeks out some unlikely connections: through the trope of ‘treading water’, she represents states of immersion and suspended temporality, and she describes how – both as a swimmer and a hoarder – she experiences a heightened sense of permeable interiority, an ebb and flow of feeling between self and environment.

中文翻译：

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踩水，囤积游泳

摘要 本文探讨了作者作为一名试图撰写有关游泳的学术研究人员的矛盾认同。从她在默西塞德郡她家附近的受潮汐约束的海上游泳仪式开始，作者反思了她在 2019 年 6 月被诊断出癌症后对自己身体和心理内在的看法不断变化。 通过汇集与游泳相关的活动形式，收集和囤积，作者寻找一些不太可能的联系：通过“踩水”的比喻，她代表了沉浸和悬浮的时间状态，她描述了如何——无论是作为一个游泳者还是一个囤积者——她体验到一种高度的感觉可渗透的内在性，自我与环境之间的感觉的潮起潮落。