This qualitative study aims to explore how noncohabiting parenting couples in prolonged conflict construct the other parent and themselves. Ten parents from five parent couples were interviewed. A dyadic analytical design was used, where parent's stories of conflict were analyzed in parallel with their co‐parent. Drawing on positioning theory, self‐identity as parents emerged as implicit counter positions in storylines, which construct the co‐parent as “the troublesome other.” Two typologies of conflicted storylines were prominent in the findings: storylines of violations of trust, positioning the co‐parents in relation to traumatic events in the past and, storylines of who is bad, positioning the co‐parent as either a disloyal co‐parent or a dysfunctional parent. The findings indicate that prolonged conflicts made it impossible to find available positions for cooperation. We argue that family therapists should aid each household toward promoting child and family resilience rather than continued efforts to solve chronic conflicts.

中文翻译：

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“麻烦的他者和我”：长期冲突中分居父母的平行故事

这项定性研究旨在探讨长期冲突中非同居的育儿夫妇如何构建另一方父母和他们自己。来自五对父母夫妇的十位父母接受了采访。使用了二元分析设计，其中父母的冲突故事与他们的共同父母同时进行分析。借鉴定位理论，作为父母的自我认同在故事情节中作为隐含的对立位置出现，将共同父母构建为“麻烦的他者”。调查结果中突出了两种相互冲突的故事情节：违反信任的故事情节，将共同父母与过去的创伤事件联系起来，以及谁是坏人的故事情节，将共同父母定位为不忠诚的共同父母或功能失调的父母。调查结果表明，长期的冲突使得无法找到可合作的位置。我们认为家庭治疗师应该帮助每个家庭提高儿童和家庭的适应能力，而不是继续努力解决长期冲突。