Autistic children do not consistently show conventional signs of social engagement, which some have interpreted to mean that they are not interested in connecting with other people. If someone does not act like they are interested in connecting with you, it may make it difficult to feel connected to them. And yet, some parents report feeling strongly connected to their autistic children. We conducted phenomenological interviews with 13 mothers to understand how they experienced connection with their 5- to 14-year-old nonspeaking autistic children. Mothers of nonspeaking autistic children represent a unique group in which to study connection because their children both may not seem interested in connecting with them and have limited ability to communicate effectively using speech, a common way people connect with each other. The mothers in this study interpreted a range of child behaviors—some unconventional, but many conventional—as signs that their children were interested in connecting with them, (re)framed child behaviors that could undermine connection as caused by factors unrelated to the relationship, and expressed several convictions that may help build and sustain connection in the face of uncertainty about the meaning of their children’s behavior. Even though their autistic children may not consistently act in conventional socially oriented ways, these mothers reported perceiving their children’s behavior as embedded within an emotionally reciprocal relationship.

自闭症儿童并不总是表现出传统的社会参与迹象，一些人认为这意味着他们对与他人交往不感兴趣。如果某人表现得没有兴趣与您联系，可能会让您很难感受到与他们的联系。然而，一些家长表示，他们感觉自己与自闭症孩子有着紧密的联系。我们对 13 名母亲进行了现象学访谈，以了解她们与 5 至 14 岁不说话的自闭症孩子的联系。不会说话的自闭症儿童的母亲代表了一个研究联系的独特群体，因为他们的孩子可能似乎对与他们联系不感兴趣，并且使用言语进行有效沟通的能力有限，而言语是人们相互联系的常见方式。这项研究中的母亲将一系列孩子的行为（有些是非常规的，但许多是常规的）解释为孩子有兴趣与她们建立联系的迹象，（重新）构建了可能破坏与关系无关的因素造成的联系的儿童行为，并表达了一些信念，这些信念可能有助于在面对孩子行为意义的不确定性时建立和维持联系。尽管他们的自闭症孩子可能不会始终以传统的社会导向方式行事，但这些母亲报告称，他们认为孩子的行为植根于一种情感互惠的关系中。