The impact of two nonionic surfactants, namely Span 20 and Span 85, on the electrorheological response and colloidal stability of urea-coated barium titanyl oxalate (BTRU)/silicone oil suspensions is investigated. We quantitatively analyze the surfactant effect on modified ER performance through the measurements of yield stress and current density, as well as the tuned suspension stability through calculation of the Turbiscan stability index (TSI) and naked-eye observations of sedimentation phenomena. The surfactant effect on particle–oil interactions and agglomeration effects is examined by measuring the permeability of silicone oil when mixed with the Span surfactant and the cluster size of particles in dispersing medium, respectively. Our results indicate that with the presence of a Span surfactant, the yield stress of the suspension exhibits a local maximum at certain Span concentrations. We hypothesize that below the optimal Span concentration, the ER properties are enhanced by the increase of the electrostatic interaction between particles. Above the limiting concentration, the ER activity is weakened by the formation of a double-layer surfactant structure that generates a steric hindrance effect. We discover that the addition of the Span surfactant favors the improvement of the particle agglomeration phenomenon, thereby promoting colloidal stability of the suspension. Consequently, in the consideration of both ER properties and suspension stability, an optimal ER fluid with the addition of 0.4 wt% Span 85 is acquired with remarkable integrated ER properties.