Ploughshares

Today, I've been lying 40 minutes in the grass with a book, at the quad,in between paths both running together and nowhere, purposefully expeditious,

of the University I just graduated from and a man approaches me sayinghis students really are something, they make candles, Super Business Girl,                    have you heard

of her? I buy a candle named Karma scented with frankincense and vanilla.The man tells me                his name is Del Rio. [End Page 23]

On selling, motivational speaker Victor Antonio makes the observationthat the fear of loss is less powerful than the desire for gain.

Isn't it awful? The world we live in? every generation seems to claim.Shocking, I'm sure at the time, to see a young Margaret Hamilton            disappearing

in color from water and pure intention. To be honest, my first shock

came from exploring the facts and pictures of Zoobooks. As advertised, every month,the scientific, natural world delivered its colorful pages. The science I never understood,

but the pictures and facts were something I loved. Who knew a Polar Bear,on hind legs, could look an elephant in the eye! For the last month,                I've been trying to love a girl who has, just yesterday, given up on me. Apparently,

loneliness is as bad for your health as smoking cigarettes! I find this hard to believebut I'm also a hypochondriac. The French Angelfish stays with its partner for life

although I'm sure it has no concept of love. She says I think I've run out of capacity.Heat capacity is the amount of energy required to heat a substance by 1 degree. Electricalcapacity, the ratio of change in electric charge to potential. [End Page 24]

                            Partially because of my love for Zoobooks, partially because of my love                        of insects and my lost passions of medical school,I studied biology at the other university I graduated from                                    where I knew there was nothing more beautifulthan $2 empanadas and Lake Mendota.I would study on that quad, where people walked                                                        their dogs down to the lake,barking after ducks            near the boat landings. This is where I took one of my favorite pictures,two strangers sitting down by the dock, the sunset and the spaces between their silhouette.I captioned the picture let us never forget what love looks like            shocking, though, at the time, I hadn't loved anyone in 4 years.

        I could say this was a reminder to myself, a reviewed and substantiated fact,        where the instinct of want equals a scatter-plot of ducks,where momentary visitation equals my feet in water,        the lake's gentle, cyclical resistance,                        but that would be disingenuous.I was lonely and thought it was a pretty picture.        Who knew ducks could sleep with one eye open? [End Page 25]                         Today, I've learned capacity-capacityis the amount of time someone gives you until their energy runs out.In 12 hours, the average person generates as much energy as it takes to turn on a lightbulb.        For my health, I'm going to start smoking a pack a day. By primal instinctwe sell. [End Page 26]