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For The First Mother: A Litany, and: Liquescent, and: Foresight, and: The Woman Speaks
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For The First Mother:A Litany
O Mother of two skinsO Mother of betrothal and betrayal O Mother of two sinsO Mother of ash and animal fat
O Mother praying to two gods who did you pray to, kneeling in the church? who did you pray to, kneeling at the cairn?
O Mother of lust and loveO Mother bent by men's dreamsO Mother of undiagnosed despair
O Mother praying to two gods did you remember to pray for us?
O Mother disowned by the people who birthed youO Mother un-motheredO Mother disowned by the people who raised youO Mother of brokennessO Mother disowned by the people you birthedO Mother forgottenO Mother, against your skin compassion never brushedO MotherO Mother
O Mother praying to two gods did you remember to pray for yourself?
O Mother of our lost wildnessO Mother, keeper of our buried voices unearth them for us [End Page 84] O Mother of our smoldering rage set fire to usO Mother of our forgotten wounds weep with us [End Page 85]
Toni Stuart is a South African poet, performer, and spoken word educator who writes in English and Afrikaans. She is author of Innocent Wisdom, Ma ek ko huis toe, and The Ground's Ear. She recently received an MA degree from Goldsmith College, University of London.
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Liquescent
the mother then put her fingers into her child's mouth—gently forcing it open; she touches her tongue to the child's tongue, and holding the tiny mouth open, she blows into it—hard. she was blowing words—her words, her mother's words, those of her mother's mother, and all their mothers before—into her daughter's mouth.
—M. NourbeSe Philip, Discourse on the Logic of Language
my skin is an empty sheet of paperwaiting for words to fall against it.
faint blue lines are listeningfor the mother's tonguefor the mother's mother's tonguefor the mother's mother's mother's tongue
splayed tongue dumb tongue twisted tongue cut tongue forked tongue mute tongue
mute tongue
a mute tongue licked lettersacross my newborn flesh,invisible ink leaked deep
when breasts and hips pushedme into womanand womb and milk pushedme into motherand child and root pushedme into question [End Page 86]
i carried my blank sheetback to the looking glasstrying to peer deep enoughto read beneath my darkness
i turned on the lightbut the filament burnt outi lit a candlebut the wick burnt outi struck a matchbut the flame snuffed out
i pressed the blank sheet of my faceflat against the cold glassof Uncle's faceof Meister Van Riebeeck's faceof Pieter's face
but none could light a flamebright enough to backlightthe answer to me, lying in wait
so i pressed my tongue flatagainst the empty sheet of meand tried to sink my teeth deepenough to rip out the letters
but my teeth have forgottenhow to tear
so i press my face flatagainst the cold glassof the bottle's faceslide my tonguedownintoits neck
and taste [End Page 87]
Toni Stuart is a South African poet, performer, and spoken word educator who writes in English and Afrikaans. She is author of Innocent Wisdom, Ma ek ko huis toe, and The Ground's Ear. She recently received an MA degree from Goldsmith College, University of London.
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Foresight
they say I am the reason the wind no longer blowsthe Koina say I am the reason the seasons stand stillthe Dutch say I am the reason the ships stand still
now I am Eva in my garden, desertednow I am Krotoa wrapped in a kaross of no warmthonly Heitsi-Eb! knows what is to come:
my children will turn the silence of their backsto me, De Klerk, Kruger, Smuts will all denythe sweetness of my name in their blood. [End Page 88]
Toni Stuart is a South African poet, performer, and spoken word educator who writes in English and Afrikaans. She is author of Innocent Wisdom, Ma ek ko huis toe, and The Ground's Ear. She recently received an MA degree from Goldsmith College, University of London.
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The Woman Speaks
my tears spill down the flankof Devil's Peakmy breath is the cloththat sets Hoerikwaggo's tableI am the onewho invites you to eatI am the onewho invites you to eat
I am the child of two Godsmy heart is a Hollanderbut my soul prays to Heitsi-Eb!
I am the onewhose bones are strong enoughto carry the weight of two skinsI am the onewhose mouth is supple enoughto hold the secrets of two tongues
if you meet me in the veld,know my feet have already returned to the fortif you meet me inside the castle,know my heart has already returned to the dunes
no matter who I tell you I amdo not believe me
no matter who I tell you I amI am alwaysonlyhalfof myself [End Page 89]
Toni Stuart is a South African poet, performer, and spoken word educator who writes in English and Afrikaans. She is author of Innocent Wisdom, Ma ek ko huis toe, and The Ground's Ear. She recently received an MA degree from Goldsmith College, University of London.
Toni Stuart is a South African poet, performer, and spoken word educator who writes in English and Afrikaans. She is author of Innocent Wisdom, Ma ek ko huis toe, and The Ground's Ear. She recently received an MA degree from Goldsmith College, University of London.
