Abstract
Many within society are working to address issues of otherness and the ways people discriminate against others in various ways such as racism, sexism, ageism, ableism, and classism. In this paper we do not pretend to offer a solution, but we wish to add to the understanding of the complexities at play. We consider the importance of how our developmental negotiation and resolution of early childhood processes of separation and individuation incline us to adopt and move between four different existential-relational positions, each of which colors how we experience ourself in relation to our own self and to other selves. To illustrate how this can dynamically manifest in ways pertinent to the embrace of otherness, we draw on our experiences as psychological consultants to university students, administrators, and faculty.
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Notes
Notably, studies of others and otherness are not new. Our developmental model is rooted in earlier clinical theories (e.g., Grotstein 2007; Klein 1975a, b; Ogden 1986, 1989; and Winnicott 1935), which address these topics and share much with current research on attachment (Beebe and Lachmann 1998, 2003, 2014; Stern 1983) and parent child relating. However, in the current turbulent times, despite sophisticated political and societal analysis of differences in our universities, there is little discussion of the emotional and interpersonal development of the individual, something, which we feel to be both pertinent and essential.
We realize that our aim here is quite ambitious. However, we consider the theory that we offer and its application to be important foundational perspective that respects the complexity entailed in any attempt at addressing the phenomena of relating to self and other, especially in the arena of group functioning. As Francisco González says, there is a need within the “Relational tradition” of psychoanalysis to address more fully “work with primitive states” and “groupal object relations---that is, one-to-many identifications or the individually held, ‘we’-part of subjectivity (2016, p. 524). Hence, as the increasingly intolerance of otherness drives so much current unrest in the United States and seems to underlie emergent human rights offenses, we think the ambition of our aim is a necessary risk even if we do not think we have a tonic, per se, for the intolerance. In demonstrating the ways psychological theories of development inform how we work as consultants to the college around particularly thorny issues we hope to stir consideration that the value of this type of thinking and approach might also have wider application.
In a recently submitted article we consider George Orwell’s essay (2018/1945), On Nationalism, and how the tribal aspects of nationalism and patriotism reflect the mentalities of the second and third existential-relational positions that we introduce.
Please note that here, we are referring to more developed cognitive representations of self and other. From a perceptual perspective the child, even while in the womb, recognizes M-other as different, demonstrating well-documented preferences for smells and voice sounds.
The variety of behaviors and actions that get coded into “good” and “bad” me likely vary tremendously based upon context, culture and personal history. The language of “good and bad” itself may be particularly located. However, what we think is broader is that at an early point in life the child is an active participant in organizing and making meaning of their experience through their engagement in semiotic processes and structures (i.e. acquiring language).
There is some mixing of meta-theory here. In discussing “good me” and “bad me” we are introducing language from the interpersonal relating of Sullivan (1953) into a conception of childhood development that has its roots in British object relations (Klein 1975a, b; Winnicott 1954, 1975/1935; Ogden 1986, 1989). While we see this as an elaboration of what occurs as the child’s more bodily preoccupation shifts into the interpersonal realm, we recognize that there are also challenges to such theoretical blending, which is a subject of a paper currently in development.
It’s worth noting that both authors either have been or are college administrators and so the pull towards operating from this position is understood personally.
Again, one might argue that knowing about various aspects of identity, culture and background is a reasonable expectation and that our description comes out of a place of privileging our identities. To a certain extent this feels true it is an onus on administrators to be as educated as possible. But more than education we think the attitudes of openness and curiosity are what allows for true tolerance and acceptance and as we are arguing this only comes out of a developmental process where one can tolerate imperfections in self and other.
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Webb, R.E., Rosenbaum, P.J. Embracing Diversity: the Complexities of Reckoning and Accepting Otherness. Integr. psych. behav. 55, 30–46 (2021). https://doi.org/10.1007/s12124-020-09582-9
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DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/s12124-020-09582-9