As part of my practice-based research, I host a monthly radio show based on the principle of ‘waking sleep’, resulting in a largely silent experiment in dispersed communion with an audience. Silence—though frowned upon in standard broadcasting—has long been a feature of artworks from Marina Abramović (1973–present), to John Cage’s 4′33 (1952), to Gillian Wearing’s Sixty MinutesSilence (1996). The power of collective silence is harnessed by many doctrines: in Quaker meetings for worship, in the practice of Zen Buddhism, and in the Memorial observance of a minute’s silence. The practice of ‘waking sleep’ was coined by Ned Hallowell M.D. as a means of refreshing the brain and combatting the effects of ADHD. It is simply the act of letting the mind wander, without feeding it the next dopamine hit from a stimulant like a conversation or screen-scroll. Holding My Nerve is a radio show, and an ongoing autotheoretical artwork. It is part-field recording, part-endurance performance, and tracks my research process as it evolves. Using transcripts of the show, diaristic writing, and reflections on art history and my past works, this article explores the often-fraught relationships between autotheory, visual art, neurodivergence, and practice-based research.

中文翻译：

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保持我们的神经——分散集体沉默、清醒睡眠和自我理论自白的实验

作为我基于实践的研究的一部分，我每月主持一个基于“清醒睡眠”原则的广播节目，从而在与观众分散交流的过程中进行了一个基本上无声的实验。从玛丽娜·阿布拉莫维奇（Marina Abramović，1973 年至今）到约翰·凯奇（John Cage）的4’33（1952 年），再到吉莉安·威林（Gillian Wearing）的六十分钟沉默，沉默——尽管在标准广播中不受欢迎——长期以来一直是艺术作品的特色。(1996)。集体沉默的力量被许多教义所利用：在贵格会的崇拜会议中，在禅宗的实践中，以及在纪念仪式中默哀一分钟。Ned Hallowell MD 创造了“醒着睡眠”的做法，作为提神醒脑和对抗 ADHD 影响的一种手段。这只是让思想游荡的行为，而不是像谈话或屏幕滚动这样的兴奋剂所产生的下一个多巴胺。Hold My Nerve 是一个广播节目，是一个正在进行的自理论艺术作品。它是部分现场记录，部分耐力表现，并随着它的发展跟踪我的研究过程。本文利用展览记录、日记写作以及对艺术史和我过去作品的反思，探讨了自论、视觉艺术、神经分歧、