Abstract Drawing on interviews with separated mothers (N = 36) this Australian qualitative study explored “hate” in a child custody context within enduring parenting disputes. This preliminary study observed that hate may be present within enduring parenting disputes. A conceptualization of hate, being circular theory of hate in co-parental conflict was developed which tentatively proposes that in a post separation context, hate may functionally serve as a self-protective mechanism that enables a parent to avoid experiencing their own emotions; avoid confronting or taking responsibility for their own behavior; or avoid facing their own lived experiences. Three themes emerged from the study that may contribute to understanding hate’s genesis, growth, and stability post separation. Firstly, an inability or unwillingness to self-reflect, secondly, inverse caring, and thirdly, relentlessness. Practitioners working with hate in a child custody context may consider these tentative observations when identifying barriers parents might experience that prevent them from keeping their child’s needs front and center following separation.

中文翻译：

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如果爱是盲目的，那么恨就看不见：持久的育儿纠纷中的恨

摘要 利用对分居母亲（N = 36）的访谈，这项澳大利亚定性研究探讨了长期育儿纠纷中儿童监护权背景下的“仇恨”。这项初步研究观察到仇恨可能存在于持久的育儿纠纷中。仇恨的概念化，即共同父母冲突中仇恨的循环理论被开发出来，该理论初步提出，在分离后的背景下，仇恨可能在功能上充当一种自我保护机制，使父母能够避免体验自己的情绪；避免面对或为自己的行为负责；或者避免面对自己的生活经历。研究中出现的三个主题可能有助于理解仇恨的起源、增长和分离后的稳定性。首先，无法或不愿意自我反省，其次，逆向关怀，第三，无情。在儿童监护环境中处理仇恨问题的从业者在确定父母可能遇到的阻碍他们在分离后将孩子的需求放在首位和中心时可能会考虑这些初步观察。