The stories we tell about our identities and sexual orientations shape how we perform gendered scripts and negotiate relationships with significant others. Previous literature inquired the styles and outcomes of consensual non-monogamous (CNM) relationships, but more research is need on how CNM men resist or abide to hegemonic models of masculinity. To understand how constructions of masculinity and conceptualizations of sexual orientation are embedded in CNMs, the study analysed the stories of non-monogamous Bi+ and heterosexual men. Following a critical narrative approach, the study inquired the diverse conceptualizations of masculinity, sexual orientation and relationship practices in the narratives of 20 non-monogamous Bi+ and heterosexual identified men. The semi-structured in-depth narrative interviews (105 min on average) were analyzed via Nvivo 12 and explored their stories of desire and the sense-making process of being sexually oriented to one or more genders and to one or more partner/s. Engaging in non-monogamy was signified as a relevant insight from their personal stories and/or from adopting new concepts of desire beyond the “love as a zero-sum game.” The latter theme was also shared by many heterosexual participants that, when negotiating a non-monogamous agreement, signified their attractions to more than one person as part of their personal identity. Finally, the paper discusses how non-monogamous spaces can offer a positive and safe space for bisexuals/Bi+ people to explore and reaffirm their identities, constantly challenged by biphobia, invisibility, and erasure. Experiences and stories of Italian cisgender Bi+ and heterosexual men cannot be generalized to the whole spectrum of masculinities within CNM spaces, and the study lacks how other gendered and sexual subjectivities construct masculinity. Diverse stories and construction of sexuality and gender can lead to similar relationship preferences and understanding how we signify them can greatly improve our understanding of intimacies.

我们讲述的关于我们的身份和性取向的故事塑造了我们如何执行性别脚本以及与重要他人协商关系。以前的文献询问了双方同意的非一夫一妻制 (CNM) 关系的风格和结果，但需要更多研究 CNM 男性如何抵制或遵守男性气质的霸权模式。为了了解男性气质的构建和性取向的概念如何嵌入 CNM，该研究分析了非一夫一妻制 Bi+ 和异性恋男性的故事。该研究采用批判性叙事方法，探究了 20 名非一夫一妻制的双性恋和异性恋男性的叙事中关于男性气质、性取向和关系实践的不同概念。通过 Nvivo 12 分析了半结构化的深度叙事访谈（平均 105 分钟），并探讨了他们的欲望故事以及对一种或多种性别和一个或多个伴侣进行性取向的意义构建过程。参与非一夫一妻制意味着从他们的个人故事和/或采用超越“爱作为零和游戏”的新欲望概念的相关见解。后一个主题也为许多异性恋参与者所共有，他们在谈判一项非一夫一妻制协议时，表示他们对多个人的吸引力是他们个人身份的一部分。最后，本文讨论了非一夫一妻制的空间如何为双性恋/双性恋者提供一个积极和安全的空间，以探索和重申他们的身份，不断受到双性恋、隐形和擦除的挑战。意大利顺性别 Bi+ 和异性恋男性的经历和故事不能推广到 CNM 空间内的所有男性气质，而且该研究缺乏其他性别和性主体如何构建男性气质。不同的故事以及性和性别的构建可以导致相似的关系偏好，理解我们如何表达它们可以大大提高我们对亲密关系的理解。