We are all contextualised within our personal and political histories. In this text, I seek to reflect on ‘internalised colonisation’ by means of an autoethnography, using post-colonial and psychodynamic theory to deconstruct and make sense of my lived experience. I explore how the complex colonial dynamics of India and Britain play themselves out within my being and lived experiences as an Indian student in the UK. I use this text as a plea to legitimise the exploration of racism and other forms of discrimination within the therapy room as they can be experienced as deeply personal, violent and intimately traumatic. When we develop the capacity to delve into not just our personal but political pasts, we begin to acknowledge the depth of colonial trauma and its relevance even today.

在我们的个人和政治历史中，我们都被语境化了。在本文中，我力求通过一种民族志学方法来反思“内在殖民化”，并使用后殖民主义和心理动力学理论来解构并理解我的生活经历。我探讨了印度和英国的复杂殖民动态如何在我的身世和我作为英国印度学生的生活中发挥作用。我以这段文字为恳求，将治疗室内的种族主义和其他形式歧视的探索合法化，因为他们可能会遭受深深的个人，暴力和亲密的伤害。当我们发展探究我们个人和政治过去的能力时，我们甚至开始承认殖民创伤的深度及其相关性，直到今天。