While literature on the Middle East has often been preoccupied with the notion of honour and shame, attention on these topics tends to focus on exceptional examples such as honour killings, and less so on everyday practices of upholding honour, including secrecy. Based on anthropological research with Syrian women and men in Jordan, this article explores everyday, gendered practices of secret-keeping and secret-breaking related to six key topics: future plans, marital conflicts, intimate partner violence, relationships with the opposite sex, financial challenges, and personal needs and problems. This article reveals tensions and contradictions in how people adhere to and challenge gender norms in their practices of secret-keeping and secret-breaking. It highlights how secret-keeping is also not only about satisfying (or being seen as satisfying) a collective norm, but at times secrecy may be motivated by self-interest.

尽管中东文学常常充斥着荣誉和耻辱的概念，但对这些话题的关注往往集中在特殊的例子上，例如杀害荣誉，而少了维护荣誉的日常做法，包括保密。基于对约旦叙利亚男女的人类学研究，本文探讨了与六个关键主题相关的日常性别保守和秘密破解行为：未来计划，婚姻冲突，亲密伴侣暴力，与异性的关系，财务状况挑战，个人需求和问题。本文揭示了人们在保守秘密和破坏秘密的方式中如何遵守和挑战性别规范方面的紧张和矛盾。