ABSTRACT This research utilized self-study methodology to examine my experience as a novice elementary mathematics teacher educator whose foundation was a high school mathematics teacher and graduate training in secondary mathematics education. By analyzing video data of the weekly mathematics methods course, I relived moments in which I masked my uncertainties through engaging the class in discussion, putting up a wall of defense, and through walking away or leaving the discussion unresolved. However, my perspective of these moments was reframed through stimulated recall interviews with two of the prospective elementary teachers enrolled in the course. Our experiences were similar in terms of our tensions and professional growth, our understanding of mathematical concepts, student thinking, and appropriate instructional practices. The insights from this study raised questions regarding a community of learners among teacher educators and prospective teachers.

中文翻译：

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被“挑战”掩盖我自己的不确定性：我与初级应聘老师的平行旅程

摘要这项研究利用自学方法来检验我作为初级数学老师教育家的经验，该老师的基础是高中数学老师和中学数学教育的研究生培训。通过分析每周数学方法课程的视频数据，我重温了自己的时光，在其中掩盖了我的不确定性，方法是让全班同学参与讨论，加盖防御墙，走开或不解决讨论。但是，我对这些时刻的看法是通过对参加该课程的两名准小学教师进行的激发式回忆访谈而重新构造的。在紧张关系和专业发展，对数学概念的理解，学生的思维以及适当的教学实践方面，我们的经验是相似的。