ABSTRACT This paper questions the idea that within families love should always be unconditional and raises the issue of family estrangement in the context of psychotherapy. It will look at whether there has been a generational shift towards individualism and consider how this affects the notion of love. Does the author respond to her clients from a belief that love should be unconditional or from a vicarious wish to be free from her own difficult family members? Is the therapeutic space available for the taboo of unconditional family love to be fully explored? The author will explore her experience as a psychological therapist working with people estranged from family in order to examine her own biases.Family relationships, as well as romantic relationships, are impacted by the culture we live in, and therapeutic relationships are affected by the therapist’s unconscious and conscious biases. In response to the question posed the author concludes that love between adults is always conditional even if this is a truth we cannot fully accept. Although conditions on love may be seen as healthy in a romantic relationship, the bonds between family members are generally held up as sacrosanct and unbreakable. This makes the choice to walk away from family difficult for wider society, therapists and estranged individuals to bear.

中文翻译：

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爱应该是无条件的吗？

摘要 本文质疑家庭内的爱应该是无条件的，并在心理治疗的背景下提出了家庭疏远的问题。它将研究是否有朝个人主义的世代转变，并考虑这如何影响爱的概念。作者对她的客户的回应是相信爱应该是无条件的，还是希望摆脱自己困难的家庭成员？无条件亲情禁忌的治疗空间是否可被充分挖掘？作者将探索她作为心理治疗师与与家人疏远的人一起工作的经历，以检查她自己的偏见。家庭关系以及浪漫关系都受到我们所生活的文化的影响，治疗关系受到治疗师无意识和有意识偏见的影响。针对提出的问题，作者得出结论，成年人之间的爱总是有条件的，即使这是我们无法完全接受的事实。尽管在浪漫关系中，爱情条件可能被视为健康，但家庭成员之间的纽带通常被视为神圣不可侵犯且牢不可破。这使得更广泛的社会、治疗师和疏远的人难以忍受离开家庭的选择。家庭成员之间的纽带通常被视为神圣不可侵犯的。这使得更广泛的社会、治疗师和疏远的人难以忍受离开家庭的选择。家庭成员之间的纽带通常被视为神圣不可侵犯、牢不可破的。这使得更广泛的社会、治疗师和疏远的人难以忍受离开家庭的选择。