Abstract

Determining who to marry can be one of the most meaningful and daunting decisions an individual can make during their lifetime. The purpose of this study is to examine the experiences of couples as they moved through varied partner selection decisions to become engaged and/or married to each other. Capturing the couples’ voice moves beyond individual partner preferences and attraction tendencies by inquiring how individuals use these variables to make complex partner selection decisions within the context of the relationship. A qualitative approach is used and thematic analysis is employed to analyze the data. Interviews with five engaged or married couples revealed that as part of the relationship deepening process, pivotal illuminating moments allowed subconscious partner preferences and expectations to surface. Couples enter a process to discern partner and relationship preferences and expectations and use external feedback from family and friends as a checks-and-balances function. Couples can utilize this information to make more informed partner selection decisions. Educators, clergy, and mental health professionals can supplement the content in pre-marital education curriculums and enhance couple interventions.

摘要

确定结婚对象可能是一个人一生中最有意义，最艰巨的决定之一。这项研究的目的是检验夫妻在经历各种伴侣选择决定时变得订婚和/或结婚的经历。通过询问个人如何使用这些变量来在关系的背景下做出复杂的伴侣选择决定，捕捉伴侣的声音超越了个体伴侣的喜好和吸引力倾向。使用定性方法，并使用主题分析来分析数据。对五对订婚或已婚夫妇的访谈显示，在深化关系的过程中，关键的照亮时刻使潜意识伴侣的偏好和期望得以浮现。夫妻进入辨别伴侣和关系偏好和期望的过程，并使用家人和朋友的外部反馈作为制衡功能。夫妻可以利用这些信息做出更明智的伴侣选择决定。教育工作者，神职人员和精神卫生专业人员可以补充婚前教育课程中的内容，并加强夫妻干预。