Anger, fear, and sadness are frequently described emotions that are experienced by many young people in care, but there is another common emotion that is less often named and understood. Shame — the deep sense of not belonging, of being defective or deficient in some way, of feeling unlovable — is a painful and pervasive social emotion that also involves our thinking processes and sense of self-worth. It has been described as a “pit of despair” that “envelops” many young people in care, a toxic force that drives behaviours we struggle to understand including some aggression and self-harm. Referencing Nathanson’s Compass of Shame, this article looks at some common coping strategies as well as masks or proxies of shame including the so-called “impostor” phenomenon – even the “drive for normality” described by James Anglin in 2002 could be seen as an attempt to escape from shame’s isolating clutches. Strategies for helping young people understand and cope with shame, including the fostering of healthy connections and the judicious use of words, are then explored.

中文翻译：

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痛苦与不为人知的情绪：羞耻

愤怒，恐惧和悲伤是许多护理中年轻人经常描述的情绪，但是还有另一种常见的情绪却很少被命名和理解。羞耻-一种不归属感，某种缺陷或不足，感到不讨人喜欢的深刻感觉-是一种痛苦而普遍的社会情感，也涉及我们的思维过程和自我价值感。它被描述为“笼罩”着许多年轻人的“绝望之地”，一种有毒的力量驱使我们努力理解的行为，包括攻击性和自我伤害。参考内森森的《耻辱指南针》，本文着眼于一些常见的应对策略以及羞辱的掩盖或代理，包括所谓的“冒名顶替”现象-甚至詹姆斯·安格林（James Anglin）在2002年描述的“追求正常性的动力”都可以看作是摆脱羞辱隔离的一种尝试。离合器。然后探讨了帮助年轻人理解和应对耻辱的策略，包括促进健康的人际关系和明智地使用词语。