This study uses constructivist grounded theory to explore older women's responses to the unexpected need to provide financial, emotional and residential support to their adult children who were experiencing problems with mental illness, substance abuse and/or absence of employment. Twenty-nine American women (>60) were interviewed:55 per cent were poor and half were women of colour. Using the theoretical model of intergenerational ambivalence, three types of structural ambivalence are discovered: mothers’ reactions to their adult children's behaviour that violate expectations for reciprocity; women's dismayed reactions to their adult children's aggressive behaviours towards themselves as their mothers; and the women's struggle regarding balancing their role as a mother to protect their adult children alongside their wish and identified needs for self-care. All of the conflicts were expressed within the frame of their role of mother. The internalised mandate to be ‘a good mother’ resulted in many experiencing shame, self-blame and guilt, and this self-blame was an obstacle to reaching out for help. This study adds to the growing body of feminist gerontological research and examines the ideological and structural variables that influence the predominance of female unpaid family care-givers in later life. The dilemma for older women with troubled adult children is both personal and political.

这项研究采用建构主义扎根理论，探讨了老年妇女对他们遇到精神疾病，药物滥用和/或失业问题的成年子女提供财务，情感和居住支持这一意外需求的应对措施。采访了29名美国妇女（> 60岁）：55％的贫困人口和一半是有色女性。使用代际矛盾的理论模型，发现了三种类型的结构矛盾：母亲对成年子女行为的反应违反了对等的期望；妇女对成年子女对自己作为母亲的攻击行为感到沮丧。和妇女的 在平衡其母亲角色以保护成年子女以及他们的愿望和确定的自我保健需求方面所做的努力。所有冲突都在其母亲角色范围内表达。作为“好母亲”的内在要求导致许多人遭受羞辱，自责和内，而这种自责则是寻求帮助的障碍。这项研究增加了女性主义老年医学研究的增长，并研究了影响女性无偿家庭照料者在以后生活中占主导地位的意识形态和结构变量。有成年子女困扰的老年妇女的困境既是个人上的，也是政治上的。作为“好母亲”的内在要求导致许多人遭受羞辱，自责和内，而这种自责则是寻求帮助的障碍。这项研究增加了女性主义老年医学研究的增长，并研究了影响女性无偿家庭照料者在以后生活中占主导地位的意识形态和结构变量。有成年子女困扰的老年妇女的困境既是个人的，也是政治上的。作为“好母亲”的内在要求导致许多人遭受羞辱，自责和内，而这种自责则是寻求帮助的障碍。这项研究增加了女性主义老年医学研究的增长，并研究了影响女性无偿家庭照料者在以后生活中占主导地位的意识形态和结构变量。有成年子女困扰的老年妇女的困境既是个人上的，也是政治上的。