These two short personal essays were written in response to anticipating the death of my mother in 2004. Living Art is written from New York City while working on my dissertation and Clipping Hair is written from Iowa on a short visit in the year and a half before her death. Juxtaposed together, the differing sensations of anticipatory grief, looking at Francis Bacon’s artwork, paintings of distorted bodies, and the fragile sensing dying body, flow into and overlap one another. In retrospect, it is possible to see that each presents a different aesthetic—one of lush grieving and another of a more stark, contained angst. Yet, both meditations center on bodies and the sensations and emotions that figure in grief and illness. They may be read vertically, one at a time, in fragments horizontally, or simultaneously.

这两篇简短的个人文章是针对2004年我母亲的去世而写的。在我写论文的同时，Living Art是纽约市写的，而在一年半前的短暂访问中，Iowa则写着Clipping Hair。她的死。并存在一起，期待的悲伤的不同感受，看着弗朗西斯·培根的作品，扭曲的身体的绘画以及脆弱的垂死的身体，相互渗透并重叠。回想起来，有可能看到每个人都呈现出不同的审美观—一种郁郁葱葱的悲伤，另一种更为强烈的内心焦虑。然而，冥想都集中在身体以及悲伤和疾病中的感觉和情感上。它们可以垂直读取，一次读取一次，水平或同时读取。