This study considers relational meanings and processes associated with parents’ desire to pass on their religious faith to their children while also honoring their children’s personal religious choices. In a non-clinical sample of religious families, we explored meanings related to the significance of faith transmission and children’s agency to parents in addition to processes related to religious socialization. Parental desired continuity was defined as parents’ desire to have their children remain committed to the faith of their family of origin. Parental perceived agency was defined as parents’ perception of their children’s right and ability to make personal religious choices. Guided by research questions about how parents balance their desire for religious continuity with their perception of their children’s agency, we present a theoretical model that illustrates the relationships between these concepts (Figure 1). Parents and children described relational processes that supported both parent’s desires and children’s agency such as: (a) teaching principles and values, (b) providing expectations of religious participation and responsibility, (c) setting an example, (d) not forcing faith, (e) allowing exploration and mistakes, and (f) showing respect for children’s views. Additional analysis examined parental interpretations of their children's current or future faith choices. These varied interpretations included parents’ expressions of failure if their children left their faith, parents’ acknowledgement of acceptance of their children’s alternative choices, as well as parents’ hopes for their children to internalize values and to learn for themselves. These findings support previous research about bidirectional and transactional processes between parents and children and suggest that religious decisions can provide a rich context for these processes. BALANCING RELIGIOUS CONTINUITY AND AGENCY 2 Many parents begin parenthood with high expectations and dreams of what their future family life will hold—they may hope their children will adopt their values, inherit their athletic ability, enjoy their same hobbies, or follow in a similar career path. For many religious parents, one of their most deeply held desires is for their children to find meaning and purpose in the same religious tradition in which the children were raised. Thus, many religious parents walk a fine line: they long to pass on their faith to their children, yet they recognize the need to simultaneously balance their religious desires with their children’s growing religious autonomy and with their children’s current and future religious choices. For some, making peace with the ambiguity associated with their children’s personal religious agency can be soul stretching. In this study we focus on processes and meanings associated with parents’ religious socialization of their children. We investigated parents’ desires related to religious transmission (desired intergenerational continuity in religious identity and commitment) and how parents’ beliefs about their children’s religious agency (perceptions about respecting one’s children’s choices about their own faith identity and commitment) seemed to influence relational processes. Although parental perspectives framed our study, both children’s and parents’ perspectives were explored in order to understand interactions associated with processes of religious socialization. Review of Literature In recent decades more people have left the religion of their family of origin (Arnett & Jensen, 2002; Colaner, Soliz, & Nelson, 2014), a trend reflected in a national survey on religion and family life which revealed that 44% of Americans reported they had changed or dropped the religion of their childhood (Pew Forum on Religion and Family Life, 2008). Furthermore, factors such as cultural shifts in values, an emphasis on individual choice (Arnett & Jensen, 2002), and immigration have led to greater diversity in family contexts as well as changes in how Americans approach religion and spirituality (McCarthy, 2007; Numrich, 2007; Walsh, 2012). The religious and spiritual practices of today’s youth comprise a study in diversity as well. Some have joined the religious “nones,” others have returned to greater orthodoxy, and still others seem to select some aspects of religion they favor while rejecting aspects that are less appealing (Bengtson, Putney, & Harris, 2013; Willoughby, Marks, & Dollahite, forthcoming). Late adolescence and emerging adulthood are times of “soul searching” that feature and involve religious changes including conversion, deepening of faith, switching denominations or even religions, or exiting faith entirely (Smith & Denton, 2005; Smith & Snell, 2009). In addition to studying religious practices, several studies have explored the religious attitudes of youth and emerging adults. Arnett and Jensen (2002) studied the religious beliefs and mindsets of 140 emerging adults and found that young people consider it a right and a responsibility to make their own religious choices apart from their parents. Additionally, Hughes and Dickson (2006) suggest that religious identity may now be more a matter of personal choice than familial legacy. In Lost in Transition: The Dark Side of Emerging Adulthood, Christian Smith and colleagues followed a national U.S. sample through the teen years and into emerging adulthood (Smith & Denton, 2005; Smith & Snell, 2009). They concluded that a significant BALANCING RELIGIOUS CONTINUITY AND AGENCY 3 portion of their emerging adult participants appeared to be lost spiritually, occupationally, and relationally (Smith, 2011). Despite trends toward more individuality and less religious continuity, Bengtson et al. (2013) suggest that the changing religious climate among young people may be less about rebellion and more about “rejuvenation” and the restoration of positive religious ideals (p. 206). Bengtson and colleagues suggests that innovation and rejuvenation is vital to the transmission of religion and spirituality and that young people may help to encourage positive religious development over time. Historically families and religions have been intertwined and have been a means of passing on values from one generation to the next (Bengston et al., 2013). Several studies have found that parents are the primary source of religious influence on children (Bao, Whitebeck, Hoyt, & Conger, 1999; Denton, 2012; McMurdie, Dollahite, & Hardy, 2013; Myers, 1996), particularly through practices like prayer in families (Chelladurai, Dollahite, & Marks, 2018; Hatch et al, 2016). In a twelve-year longitudinal study of parents and their adult offspring, Myers (1996) concluded that parental religiosity is the most significant factor in the religious involvement of adult children. Although Arnett and Jensen (2002) found little relationship between childhood socialization and the religious beliefs of emerging adults, it is important to note that rigorous longitudinal research has found that many young adult “prodigals” who leave their parents’ faith later return (Bengtson et al., 2013). Whether this pattern of return will hold for the Millennial generation is uncertain (Willoughby et al., forthcoming). Into the early 21st century the transmission of religious values from parents to children was typically regarded as a unidirectional process of parents influencing children (Bao et al., 1999). Indeed, to that point much research documented that parents transmit values and beliefs to their children through teaching, example, and discipline, with little research noting the converse influence of children on parents (Palkovitz, Marks, Appleby, & Holmes, 2003). Subsequently, Palkovitz et al. (2003) posited that the varied contexts of parenting engage bidirectional processes between two or more generations, affect developmental outcomes for parents and children, and influence meanings that families create. Over the past two decades, researchers have begun to note that parents and children do influence each other religiously (Dollahite, Marks, Babcock, Barrow, & Rose, 2019; Dollahite & Thatcher, 2008; Pinquart & Silbereisen, 2004). Employing a longitudinal data set, Bengston et al. (2013) utilized the life course perspective concept of “linked lives” to explain how children’s and parents’ religious decisions have mutual influence. Indeed, Marks and Dollahite (2017) discussed a phenomenon related to the experience of parenthood where even young children may influence parental religious involvement, sometimes significantly. Contemporary ideas about socialization acknowledge dynamic interactions, transactions, and processes involving children acting as agents who exert (and resist) influence. These ideas suggest that transformation for both parents and children and not just merely continuity should be anticipated in the processes of socialization (Kuczynski & Parkin, 2007). In a 20-year longitudinal study that observed parent-child relationships across two generations, Spilman, Neppl, Donnellan, Shofield, and Conger (2013), explored religious continuity and BALANCING RELIGIOUS CONTINUITY AND AGENCY 4 conceptualized religiosity as a resource positively associated with interpersonal skills that influence the quality of family relationships within and across both generations. According to Kuczynski and Parkin (2007), bidirectional influences result from parents’ and children’s understandings of each other’s behavior, the meanings they associate with interactions, and how they accommodate and respond to each other’s goals and perspectives. They also suggest that future research address relational processes between parents and children acting as agents and adapting to each other’s agency. The value of qualitative research in the study of intergenerational relationships and processes that influence family life has been recognized by several scholars (Kuczynski & Daly, 2003; Marks & Dollahite, 2011; P

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父母如何平衡对宗教连续性的渴望与尊重儿童的宗教机构。

这项研究考虑了与父母希望将他们的宗教信仰传递给他们的孩子同时尊重他们孩子的个人宗教选择的相关意义和过程。在宗教家庭的非临床样本中，除了与宗教社会化相关的过程外，我们还探讨了与信仰传播和儿童对父母的代理意义相关的意义。父母期望的连续性被定义为父母希望他们的孩子继续忠于他们原籍家庭的信仰。父母感知能动性被定义为父母对其子女做出个人宗教选择的权利和能力的看法。在研究问题的指导下，父母如何平衡他们对宗教连续性的渴望和他们对孩子的能动性的看法，我们提出了一个理论模型来说明这些概念之间的关系（图 1）。父母和孩子描述了支持父母愿望和孩子能动性的关系过程，例如：(a) 教学原则和价值观，(b) 提供对宗教参与和责任的期望，(c) 树立榜样，(d) 不强迫信仰， (e) 允许探索和错误，以及 (f) 尊重儿童的意见。额外的分析检查了父母对孩子当前或未来信仰选择的解释。这些不同的解释包括父母对孩子离开信仰时失败的表达，父母承认接受孩子的替代选择，以及父母希望孩子内化价值观并为自己学习。这些发现支持之前关于父母与孩子之间双向和交易过程的研究，并表明宗教决定可以为这些过程提供丰富的背景。平衡宗教连续性和机构 2 许多父母开始为人父母时，对他们未来的家庭生活抱有很高的期望和梦想——他们可能希望他们的孩子能够接受他们的价值观，继承他们的运动能力，享受他们相同的爱好，或从事类似的职业小路。对于许多宗教父母来说，他们最根深蒂固的愿望之一就是让他们的孩子在他们长大的同一宗教传统中找到意义和目的。因此，许多虔诚的父母都走得很好：他们渴望将他们的信仰传递给他们的孩子，然而，他们认识到需要同时平衡他们的宗教愿望与他们孩子日益增长的宗教自主权以及他们孩子当前和未来的宗教选择。对一些人来说，与与孩子个人宗教机构相关的模棱两可的关系和平相处可能会让人精神舒展。在这项研究中，我们关注与父母对孩子的宗教社会化相关的过程和意义。我们调查了父母与宗教传播相关的愿望（宗教身份和承诺的代际连续性）以及父母对孩子宗教机构的信念（关于尊重孩子对自己的信仰身份和承诺的选择的看法）似乎如何影响关系过程。尽管父母的观点构成了我们的研究，探索了儿童和父母的观点，以了解与宗教社会化过程相关的互动。文献回顾 近几十年来，越来越多的人离开了他们的原生家庭的宗教（Arnett & Jensen，2002 年；Colaner、Soliz 和 Nelson，2014 年），这一趋势反映在一项关于宗教和家庭生活的全国调查中，该调查显示 44 % 的美国人报告说他们改变或放弃了童年时期的宗教信仰（皮尤宗教与家庭生活论坛，2008 年）。此外，价值观的文化转变、强调个人选择 (Arnett & Jensen, 2002) 和移民等因素导致了家庭环境的更大多样性以及美国人对待宗教和灵性的方式的变化 (McCarthy, 2007; Numrich ，2007 年；沃尔什，2012 年）。当今青年的宗教和精神实践也包括对多样性的研究。有些人加入了宗教“无”，有些人回归了更正统的信仰，还有一些人似乎选择了他们喜欢的宗教的某些方面，同时拒绝了不太吸引人的方面（Bengtson、Putney 和 Harris，2013 年；Willoughby、Marks 和Dollahite，即将推出）。青春期后期和成年初期是“灵魂探索”的时期，其特点是宗教变革，包括皈依、信仰加深、改变教派甚至宗教，或完全退出信仰（史密斯和丹顿，2005 年；史密斯和斯内尔，2009 年）。除了研究宗教习俗外，还有几项研究探讨了青年和新兴成年人的宗教态度。Arnett 和 Jensen (2002) 研究了 140 名新兴成年人的宗教信仰和心态，发现年轻人认为在父母之外做出自己的宗教选择是一种权利和责任。此外，休斯和迪克森 (2006) 认为，宗教身份现在可能更多地是个人选择而不是家族遗产。在《迷失在转型期：新兴成年期的阴暗面》中，克里斯蒂安·史密斯 (Christian Smith) 及其同事跟踪了美国全国样本，从青少年时期一直到成年期（Smith 和 Denton，2005 年；Smith 和 Snell，2009 年）。他们得出的结论是，他们新兴的成年参与者中有一个重要的平衡宗教连续性和机构 3 部分似乎在精神、职业和关系上迷失了 (Smith, 2011)。尽管趋向于更多的个性和更少的宗教连续性，但 Bengtson 等人。（2013 年）表明，年轻人中不断变化的宗教气候可能与叛逆无关，而更多地与“复兴”和积极宗教理想的恢复有关（第 206 页）。Bengtson 及其同事认为，创新和复兴对于宗教和灵性的传播至关重要，随着时间的推移，年轻人可能有助于鼓励积极的宗教发展。从历史上看，家庭和宗教一直交织在一起，是将价值观代代相传的一种方式（Bengston 等，2013）。多项研究发现，父母是宗教影响儿童的主要来源（Bao、Whitebeck、Hoyt 和 Conger，1999 年；Denton，2012 年；McMurdie、Dollahite 和 Hardy，2013 年；Myers，1996 年），特别是通过家庭祈祷等做法（Chelladurai、Dollahite 和 Marks，2018 年；Hatch 等人，2016 年）。在对父母及其成年后代进行的为期 12 年的纵向研究中，Myers (1996) 得出结论，父母的宗教信仰是成年子女宗教参与的最重要因素。尽管 Arnett 和 Jensen (2002) 发现童年社会化与新兴成年人的宗教信仰之间几乎没有关系，但需要注意的是，严格的纵向研究发现，许多离开父母信仰的年轻“浪子”后来又回来了（Bengtson 等等，2013）。这种回报模式是否会适用于千禧一代尚不确定（Willoughby 等人，即将出版）。进入 21 世纪初，从父母到孩子的宗教价值观的传播通常被认为是父母影响孩子的单向过程（Bao 等，1999）。事实上，在这一点上，许多研究表明父母通过教学、榜样和纪律将价值观和信念传递给他们的孩子，但很少有研究注意到孩子对父母的相反影响（Palkovitz、Marks、Appleby 和 Holmes，2003 年）。随后，Palkovitz 等人。(2003) 认为，不同的育儿背景涉及两代或更多代之间的双向过程，影响父母和子女的发展成果，并影响家庭创造的意义。在过去的二十年里，研究人员开始注意到父母和孩子确实在宗教上相互影响（Dollahite、Marks、巴布科克、巴罗和罗斯，2019 年；多拉希特和撒切尔，2008 年；Pinquart 和 Silbereisen，2004 年）。Bengston 等人使用纵向数据集。(2013) 利用生命历程视角的“关联生命”概念来解释儿童和父母的宗教决定如何相互影响。事实上，Marks 和 Dollahite（2017 年）讨论了一种与父母身份相关的现象，在这种现象中，即使是年幼的孩子也可能影响父母的宗教参与，有时影响很大。关于社会化的当代观念承认涉及儿童作为施加（和抵制）影响的代理人的动态互动、交易和过程。这些想法表明，在社会化过程中应该预见到父母和孩子双方的转变，而不仅仅是连续性（Kuczynski & Parkin，2007）。Spilman、Neppl、Donnellan、Shofield 和 Conger（2013 年）在一项为期 20 年的纵向研究中观察了两代人的亲子关系，探讨了宗教连续性和平衡宗教连续性和机构 4 将宗教信仰概念化为与人际交往正相关的资源影响两代人内部和跨代家庭关系质量的技能。根据 Kuczynski 和 Parkin (2007) 的说法，双向影响源于父母和孩子对彼此行为的理解、他们与互动相关的意义以及他们如何适应和回应彼此的目标和观点。他们还建议未来的研究解决父母和孩子作为代理人并适应彼此的代理人之间的关系过程。