The 12 years analysis of a patient suffering from traumatization during his childhood describes how he managed to function by reducing his psychic life and agony to a state of “deadness” while staying oriented upon daily tasks and goals. By opening up to his associations, he gradually came to face his inner chaos and negative tendencies (“hate”). While experiencing unbearable automatic associations beyond his will and choice, he felt invited to attend and revise his judgments on these old—however dominantly influential—fragments and memories. This case study describes the struggles one is burdened with when it comes to an overshadowing hate and unworthiness, growing on a lonely path, and finding new ways which may make relating, playing, tenderness, and joy possible.

中文翻译：

---

在早期创伤中感到死亡：仇恨发展的案例研究

对一名在童年时期遭受创伤的患者进行的 12 年分析描述了他如何通过将精神生活和痛苦减少到“死亡”状态，同时保持专注于日常任务和目标，从而设法发挥作用。通过对自己的交往敞开心扉，他逐渐面对自己内心的混乱和消极倾向（“仇恨”）。在经历超出他的意志和选择的难以忍受的自动联想时，他感到被邀请参加并修改他对这些旧的——尽管具有重大影响的——片段和记忆的判断。本案例研究描述了一个人在面对压倒性的仇恨和不配、在孤独的道路上成长以及寻找可能使联系、玩耍、温柔和快乐成为可能的新方法时所承受的斗争。